I'm Joey Myers, founder of hittingperformancelab.com, a former division one Fresno State ballplayer and the author of the Amazon best selling Catapult Loading System. If you're a baseball or softball parent, coach, or athlete who wants science to win out over guesswork, you're in the right dugout. Today, we're tackling a tough question that's exploding on sidelines and social feeds. Are we, well meaning parents and coaches, creating pressure we don't even see? We'll unpack how constant helpful commentary can quietly drain confidence, why kids can look fine in practice but freeze in games, and what to do instead.
So your hitter walks to the box with a clear plan, calmer nerves, and a better chance at real, repeatable contact. We'll hit practical fixes you can use tonight. A simple one word car ride check-in, how to praise process over outcomes, and what to track beyond batting average, equality contact, pitch selection, and truly competitive at bats. If you coach a team, raise a young athlete, or you're that athlete trying to tune out the noise, this episode gives you a blueprint to protect confidence and build performance that shows up on game day. No gimmicks, no lectures, just clear steps you can run this week.
Stick around. Let's swing smarter. The crisis in youth sports runs deeper than many realize with a shocking seventy percent of young athletes dropping out by age 13. This isn't due to overt negativity or intentional harm from adults, rather it's the accumulation of subtle pressures from parents and coaches that gradually wears down young players enthusiasm and love for the game. The real tragedy is that most adults don't even recognize they're contributing to this pressure.
Picture a typical scene at any youth baseball game, parents calling out what they believe are helpful tips from the stands. Keep your head in or just swing. Meanwhile, their young athlete's shoulders visibly slump, their confidence eroding with each well intentioned piece of advice. Or consider the postgame car ride home where parents meticulously review every at bat while their child stares silently out the window mentally exhausted from both the game and the impending analysis. The fundamental issue isn't that parents care too much, it's how that caring manifests as constant coaching.
There's a pervasive myth in youth sports that more feedback automatically leads to better performance. However, sports psychologist Doctor. Brett McCabe has identified what he calls the confidence tax, the gradual erosion of an athlete's self belief through excessive coaching and commentary, especially during or immediately after competitions. This creates a dangerous dynamic where players begin to tie their personal worth to their athletic results rather than focusing on growth and development. The impact of this pressure becomes starkly clear in real world examples.
Consider the 12 year old player who admitted he'd rather take a called third strike than swing at a bad pitch, not because of any strategic thinking, but simply to avoid his father's reaction to chasing balls outside the zone. This perfectly illustrates how parental pressure can fundamentally alter a player's approach to the game, shifting their focus from performance and improvement to avoiding negative feedback. Social media platforms like TikTok and parent forums consistently highlight this theme. Children who initially love their sport begin to feel overwhelmed by its emotional weight. This burden often stems from parents' body language, constant commentary, and extended pep talks that stretch beyond the car ride home.
The pressure doesn't come from explicit criticism, but from the subtle ways parents and coaches communicate their expectations and disappointments. However, there are success stories that point toward better approaches. One family implemented a simple but effective no swing talk in the car rule. Instead of dissecting every at bat on the drive home, they focused on music and stopped for milkshakes. The result was remarkable.
Their young hitters confidence soared. If today's episode made you wonder whether you're accidentally adding pressure, here's how to turn that insight into a calm, repeatable plan you can start this week. It's called Swing Shift. I built it for busy baseball and softball families who want less sideline coaching and more game time results. You get short five to seven minute sessions that train what actually shows up under the lights.
Earlier ball pickup, better pitch selection. Think green zone versus yellow zone decisions, two strike compete, and a simple confidence routine so your hitter walks to the box clear and ready. Each session gives you exactly what to do and what to say so the car ride is in a lecture and your athlete still feels supported. You'll track three easy numbers, quality contact percentage, selection success, and competitive at bats, so progress is visible without spreadsheets or gadgets. Fewer fixes, more ownership.
Less noise, more quality contact. If you want the cage version of your hitter to show up on game day without expensive lessons or overhauls, join me in swing shift. Head to hittingperformancelab.com/swingshift, and let's make tonight's practice simple, confident, and effective. I'll see you inside. Once failure no longer came packaged with an immediate lecture.
This approach aligns perfectly with Carol Dweck's research on growth mindset, which emphasizes the importance of praising effort and process rather than outcomes. Doctor. Ken Raviza's research further supports this approach, showing that athletes perform best when they feel free to compete rather than scared to fail. This insight suggests that creating an environment of support rather than constant evaluation is crucial for athletic development. As Marcus Aurelius wisely noted, you have power over your mind, not outside events.
While parents can't control strikeouts or errors, they absolutely control their reactions to these moments. And children are watching these reactions more closely than they're listening to the words. A practical solution for parents is the one word car ride drill. Instead of launching into a detailed post game analysis, parents simply ask their athlete for one word describing how they felt at the plate. This simple approach serves multiple purposes.
It creates space for the athlete to process their experience, demonstrates that their perspective matters and provides valuable insight into their mental state during competition. The patterns that emerge from these one word responses, whether nervous, rushed, confident, or focused, offer genuine guidance for future practice sessions while maintaining the crucial separation between game performance and immediate feedback. The path forward requires a fundamental shift from control to support. This doesn't mean caring less, it means expressing that care differently. Instead of filling every moment with instruction and analysis, parents need to create space for their young athletes to own their experience and develop their own relationship with the game.
This approach helps build not just better athletes, but more resilient individuals ready to face challenges both on and off the field. The transformation happens when young athletes can walk back to the dugout after a strikeout not dreading their parents reaction, but already mentally preparing for their next at bat, confident in their support system regardless of the outcome. This kind of emotional safety net is crucial for athletic development and personal growth. It's about creating an environment where failure isn't tied to disappointment or lengthy analysis, but is seen as a natural part of the learning process. The solution isn't complicated but it requires conscious effort and sometimes uncomfortable self reflection from parents.
Are we inadvertently creating pressure through our well intentioned involvement? Are our reactions and commentary helping or hindering our young athletes' development? By asking these questions and adjusting our approach, we can help reverse the troubling trend of early sports dropout and create an environment where young athletes can truly flourish, developing not just athletic skills, but the confidence and resilience they'll need throughout their lives. If today's episode made you realize it's not more commentary your kid needs, it's a calmer plan. Here's the shortcut.
My AI for youth athlete parents and team coaches course shows you how to use simple AI prompts to build personalized ten minute practice plans that actually transfer to game day. You'll get ready to use templates for vision and pitch recognition drills, green versus yellow zone decision training, and two strike compete routines, plus parent scripts for the one word car ride so support replaces pressure. The best part? You'll track the right metrics without spreadsheets, quality contact percentage, pitch selection success, and competitive at bats. Drop in your game notes, and the course helps turn them into next practice priorities.
So every rep has a purpose. Coaches, there's a team version to generate roster wide plans and share printable checklists with players and parents. If you want the cage version of your hitter to show up under the lights without guesswork, go to hittingperformancelab.com forward slash AI course and use code AI course podcast for $20 off. Turn today's insight into a simple system you can run this week. If today's episode helped you spot the hidden pressure we sometimes put on our kids and gave you calmer ways to support their at bats, make sure you follow dot subscribe so you never miss what's next.
If this resonated, please leave a quick review with your top takeaway. It helps more baseball and softball families find the show. And share this episode with a teammate's parent or your coaching staff so their hitters benefit too. For step by step drills, checklists, and proven programs designed for real world development, visit hittingperformancelab.com. You'll find resources to build confidence, improve decisions, swinging smarter.
